Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Teenagers say the darndest things.

These are admittedly second-hand, but (a.) the sources are reliable and (b.) they're pretty good. In both cases, both the student and teacher are female.

* * * * *

Student: Miss J! Miss J!

Teacher: Yes, what is it?

S: My friend and I were talking about baby names. [N.B. the student is not pregnant.]

T: Oh? What about them?

S, earnestly: Yeah, we were thinking that a good name for a girl would be... Clitoria.

T: Uh... that's... kind-of... not quite appropriate.

S, thinking for a second: Oh no! Not like that other word, Miss! This is totally different!

As a colleague of mine put it, "What are they going to call her as a short form? Clit?"

* * * * *

A generally well-liked, somewhat-grandmothery Irish-Canadian supply teacher, who knows our school well, is going through the attendance list at the start of a grade 9 science class, which is full of characters such as the following:

Student, with extreme attitude: WHY are you taking the attendance?

Teacher, somewhat befuddled: I have to see who's here and who's not.

S, getting more irate: Well, why don't you... just mark everyone absent?!

T: I think you'd better go to the office and cool down.

S, dismissively: Don't talk to me!

T: Excuse me?

S, snapping: WHY ARE YOU STILL TALKING TO ME?!?!?!

This one baffled pretty much everyone around the department today, and with good reason... until they found out who the student was, and everyone that knew her reacted with an, "Ahhhhh, alright, her." I swear, I can handle a dozen immature idiot 14-year-old boys, but just one of these girls... it's like they're on-guard 24/7, just looking for a reason to snap at you with all they've got.

* * * * *

People ask me if my job is boring, or repetitive, or somehow uninteresting. I think it's pretty clear that it ain't.

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