Monday, April 11, 2011

Oh, hi.

I thought I saw you there.

Did I catch you looking?

Neat.

Yeah, I know things are quiet around here in April. And I wish I could say that it's because I've been busy banging your mom, but alas, the only thing I've been banging is my car door in frustration at the end of another long-ass day.*

(Actually, I take that back. These days haven't been terribly frustrating; more like, filled with meetings and baseball practices for the kiddies and stuff to fix around the department and the odd family get-together. Same-ol' same-ol'. I more just wanted a chance to make a joke that insinuates that I had carnal relations with your mother.*)

I've put my microwave oven on a power-bar, so it's off most of the time; I only flick the switch on when I'm about to use it. Makes sense; I have another clock in the kitchen anyway.** So, I guess that's new.

My niece beat me soundly in several games of Uno yesterday afternoon; I think the final tally was somewhere around 6-1 for her. I think she had an unfair advantage, though: it was "Uno Junior" and had pictures of Dora the Explorer on the cards. I hardly ever watch that show.***

I'm finally ploughing through Season 4 of my Kids in the Hall DVDs. They really managed to find themselves around this point in the series.****

So, in conclusion, life rolls merrily forward.*****
________________________________
* And your sister. (Applicable for both asterisk-instances.)
** So does your mom.
*** Except after I do your aunt's housekeeper.
**** Just like I found your cousin's friend's sexy co-worker's naughty bits.
***** I have probably had sex with you and everyone you know.******
****** God, I need to get laid.

6 comments:

JTL said...

A brief programming note

This blog will now primarily focus on my various and sundry sexual conquests, both real and imagined, but mostly imagined.

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JTL said...

Wow, these assholes just won't give up.

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Hubert said...

What's with the fucking spam, eh?

JTL said...

No, Hubes, that one was mine. Jesus!

Also: the captcha image below says "bratests". Which is funny.