Cereal Review: Trix Swirls.

I'm always up for new adventures in breakfast cereal, as readers of this here blog are no doubt aware. So, when I was in a Target near Flint, Michigan on the way back from Florida — seriously, folks, Flint is super-cheap to fly out of, if you don't mind a bit of a relaxing/boring drive to get there — and I saw some cereal on for $2.50 a box... well, with the dollar at par these days, how could I pass that up?

Enter, Trix Swirls.

As far as I know, Trix isn't available in Canada... yet, I'd wager to say that the vast majority of Canadians under 60 know the slogan, "Silly rabbit, Trix is for kids!" The box I picked up looked neo-retro like this, possibly because the "give-away" was a plug for watching retro cartoons Underdog and Tennesee Tuxedo on some website somewhere that's probably blocked outside the US anyway. (Assholes.)

Simply put, this shit is terrible. They're coloured-up to the tits, and the box professes that they're "naturally and artificially fruit-flavored [sic]" — and yet, when they hit my mouth, there really wasn't a whole lot of flavour to speak of. They sure smelled fruity, which is strange, because when you think about it, does breakfast cereal usually have a smell?

At any rate, these ended up being like smaller Corn Pops, which aren't that bad, I suppose. I was expecting a whole lot more out of Trix Swirls, but in the end they were pretty disappointing.

CEREAL RATING RUBRIC

Appearance: 4/5 (very colourful... a bit too colourful, maybe?)
Mouthfeel: 3/5 (slightly firmer than Corn Pops, not altogether unpleasant but not novel)
Taste: 1.5/5 (as discussed above)
Giveaway: 1/5 (retro TV is what YouTube is for... well, that and awesome music videos)

Overall grade: 9.5/20
Nothing exciting. Was hoping for more.