* * * * *John Legend looks good in that suit.
Lady Gaga looks like she lost a wrestling match with a screen door.
Taylor Swift looks like an alien.
...alright, so I only watched the last 40 seconds of the show. I think that was 40 seconds too much, to be honest.
I'm gonna go listen to more of this, and the rest of you can just go jump in the lake. Thirty seconds of whatever the hell that shrill noise is at the start of that song is infinitely more enjoyable than watching an awards show. (But, stay tuned, because the rest of the song is superb.)