Thursday, December 10, 2009

Bands That Suck #1.

Whilst driving home from my late-ass union meeting today, CBC had on an interview which wasn't particularly interesting and Q107 was playing a song by Boston (sorry, ECB, all their songs sounded pretty much the same), so I flipped over to CFNY/The Edge, and was inspired to create a feature on this here blog-o-ma-thing over here.

Bands That Suck #1:

AFI (which stands for "A Fire Inside," proving that while they do indeed suck, they are at least efficient) has been around since 1991, proving that you can indeed teach an old dog new ways to suck. Witness this early track from 1996 when they were cheeky and punky:

Frankly, I was stunned when I heard this song — it's not a song I would necessarily choose to listen to, but, holy crap is it different from what they do today.

The song I heard tonight, "Medicate," is pretty representative of what's wrong with mainstream alt-rock these days. Listen at your own risk.

This isn't the official video for the song, but you get the point. Consider this lyric-snippet:

Can you describe what it's like?
I feel nothing
Can you feel this?
Does it sting?
I feel nothing at all
I feel nothing at all
I feel nothing at all
(Can you tell me how it feels?)
I feel nothing at all
(As we pretend this is real)
I feel nothing

Who wrote this crap? A 15-year-old girl who wears black nailpolish, listens to the Smiths, and occasionally cuts herself? It's not like these guys are woe-is-me angsty teens — their lead singer is 34!

In conclusion, we're all doomed, and only Rik Emmett's impossibly tight pants can save us.

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