Thursday, October 22, 2009

An open letter to my gendermates.

Gentlemen:

I write to you on behalf of a friend of mine — a chick, a broad, a dame — who has recently been jerked-around by one of us.

Listen up, guys. Let's say you get set-up with a girl, on a surprise double-date of sorts. You chat, you flirt, you touch her arm to show her you're interested — they love that shit, as you know — and, when the first bar you're at closes down, you ask her to accompany you to a second. Then, when you drop her off at the end of the night, ask for her phone number, obtain it, enter it into your d-bag cell phone...

CALL HER, ASSHOLE.

You see, all the stuff I mentioned above gives women the impression you like them romantically. If you actually don't like them romantically, either (a.) don't do all that stuff in the first place or, assuming you don't like them romantically but you kinda like hanging out with them all the same, (b.) man-up, call them fairly soon, get together again, but don't do all the douchey flirty stuff; you may also wish to come out and say, "Hey, I really like hanging out with you, but in a 'pants-on' kind of way." Make a joke out of it, you poor-man's Don Rickles you.

Chicks tend to take this stuff all personal. I know, us guys, we get rejected by a woman, we'll feel kinda crappy about it for little while, but then we'll fire up the goat-porn, crank one out to clear our heads, and go make ourselves a sandwich. Women, though... women are different. Get this through your thick skulls, fellas.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Aww, thanks guy :)