Monday, October 05, 2009

Dual Detroit Tigers plotlines!

Boy-howdy, it's a busy day for the Detroit Tigers. Consider:

Plotline #1
Tomorrow, owing to the fact that they're tied with the Minnesota Twins atop the American League Central division standings after 162 games — leading by a wide margin with only a month to go, to boot — the Tigers and Twins will play a one-game, winner-gets-into-the-playoffs game. You, Dear and Loyal Reader, know this already, as you doubtless have any new blog posts telegrammed and/or telegraphed to you the very minute they come out, and I broke this breaking story to you yesternight. However, there's another big big story to deal with for the Tabbies.

Plotline #2
This past Friday night, the Tigers and Chicago White Sox played a night game which ended around 10 pm. After this spirited contest, in which the Chicagoans the prevailed, one Mr. Miguel Cabrera, the Tigers' leading hitter, the Tigers' most expensive contract this season, said this to Michael Rosenberg of the Detroit Free Press: "Right now, I’m focused on the next game. I’m going to my house right now and go relax."

Only, he didn't. He went out and hoisted more-than-a-few with some buddies of his at a hotel in suburban Detroit. Big deal, right? Mickey Mantle was a notorious boozer; David Wells pitched a perfect game with a vicious hangover; Dock Ellis once dropped acid and proceeded to throw a no-hitter.

Consider the following:
  • Cabrera went to the bar at the Townsend Hotel in Birmingham. (I checked the rates here; 300 bones a night.)
  • Who was staying at that hotel? His buddies. On the Chicago White Sox.
Now, while we'd all like to think this was the Good Olde Days and baseball players would cross the street so they wouldn't be forced to look a player on opposing team in the eye, competitors know each other and hang out occasionally.

However, in light of the fact that, at 7 pm on Saturday night, the Tigers were about to play the most important game that season to date, these details seem to make the case for Cabrera not exactly being the shiniest apple in your grocer's produce section:
  • He drank.
  • A lot.
  • Until 5 in the morning.
  • He took a cab home (that responsible guy), and was loud enough coming home that he woke up his 4-year-old kid.
  • His wife, Rosangel, was none too pleased with this, so she started a fight with him.
  • Blows were exchanged; Miguel was seen at Saturday night's game with a vicious cut on his cheek, and Rosangel apparently had a cut on her lower lip. (Charges were not filed by either party, and the police say they were both "aggressors.")
  • Because Rosangel wanted Miguel away for a while, the police were obliged to take him down to the station.
  • At 7 am, he blew a .26 on a Breathalyzer; a .35 at a cop-shop means an instant trip to the hospital, to be on the safe side.
  • This is presumably several hours after he stopped drinking.
  • The morning before the biggest game of the season.
  • And the Tigers' General Manager, Dave Dombrowski, had to pick him up at the police station.
Can you imagine doing that? Let's say it's the morning before your big presentation — if it goes well, just think, you'll finally be able to seal the deal on that lucrative Henderson account — and your boss has to pick you up from the slammer because you got drunk and fought your wife. Hell, you might even still be drunk during the presentation.

All that being said...

Go Tigers.
Beat those Twins.

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