Monday, March 02, 2009

I can't figure it out.

Nickelback sucks.

Oh god, how they suck. They make jet-engines look mild in comparison, in terms of sucking power. Their music is a mix of mediocre thrashing, rawk-poses, and Chad Kroeger's odd, growly excuse for "singing."

Two seconds' worth of their music are two seconds too many. I seriously cannot stand more than one millisecond of their shitty, shitty, shitty, shitty, shitty music. I would rather extract my eardrums with a butter knife that I have hammered, using a pair of large, flat stones, into a long, somewhat pointy jabbing implement which could reach down through my ear canal as to better reach said thin membranes, than be subjected to any one of their "hits."

And yet, they sell records. Lots of them. Top of the charts in many countries.

. . .

But, I will say this: Chad Kroeger is an exceedingly ugly man. I, on the other hand, am mildly presentable (given the proper, poor lighting conditions). So we're even.

2 comments:

Eve said...

I have been trying to find two pieces that supposedly represent the world's most favourite and least favourite songs. A pair of artists collected survey data from across the internet on what elements of music people hated and loved, and then composed and recorded two songs that would encompass both the worst and best according to responses on the survey. As you would expect, the most favourite song is the pappy, boring drivel (so I've heard) that you would expect from a song that had to please everybody. The least favourite song is (apparently) fucking awesome.

I'm assuming the favourite song sounds a little like Nickelback.

JTL said...

You have got to find me that Least Favourite song.