Sunday, November 09, 2008

Looking down the barrel of a gun.

It's more than just a stupendous song by the Beastie Boys off Paul's Boutique; it's what I do every year as November, and my birthday, rolls around.

November is a Perfect Storm of Shittiness, for myriad reasons:

1. The weather is lousy.
It might snow, it might not. It gets increasingly chilly, but it's not that January-cold which can be dry and pleasant. It rains a lot and it's greygreygrey. November is the absolute crappiest month for weather, and I challenge you to name a month which is worse.

2. Zero holidays.
July has Canada Day, August has the Civic Holiday, September has Labour Day, October has Thanksgiving, December has Christmas, January has New Year's (and a little break so the kiddies can write exams), they cooked up Family Day for February, March has March Break, April has Easter, May has Victoria Day, and June is just generally jubilant. Notice something missing? I do.

3. It's my birthday.
Last year was good because (a.) I turned a major milestone which suggested copious drinking, and (b.) it was also my Champagne Birthday, which also suggested drinking. This year has neither of those charms, so it's merely an opportunity for the odometer to click by, louder than more ominously than it ever has before. Another 12 months closer to death! Hooray!

(Actually, I should take back my dark outlook on aging. The whole thing about "youth being wasted on the young" is completely true; sure, you're young and full of piss-and-vinegar, but you wouldn't know what to do with the freedom your youth brings you if you had two hands, a flashlight, a map and a case of Red Bull at your disposal. I think I'm in a pretty good spot right now, being reasonably responsibility-free, aside from my job, but old and hopefully wise enough to realize that I've got a relatively sweet thing going.)

* * * * * * * * *

Any ideas what I should get my parents for Christmas? I've resolved to be done the bulk of my present-shopping by the end of this month, mostly because I hate malls during December.

1 comment:

ecb said...

I would like to nominate January as the shittiest month of the year.

First, I hate new years. Second, everyone is depressed in January because all the Christmas anticipation is over. What's left to live for? NOTHING. Also, I think January has the shittiest weather AND it has 31 days so it seems like it's never going to end. So screw you January.

Also, now that I'm in the states, I have American thanksgiving in November so it's not SO bad.