Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Election recap.

Whadda ya know, another Conservative minority. A few seats changed hands. Big friggin' deal. A party-by-party run-down follows.

Conservatives
You're gonna get people like my grandparents who, come hell or high water, will vote Conservative until they can no longer mark an X. But I honestly think that the reason they won is because the average Canadian can't hold a thought for much longer than the average American, which really isn't saying much; in short, they heard Harper yelping "Liberals have a Carbon Tax" and all they listened to was "Liberals... tax", and in this day and age, CUT TAXES CUT TAXES CUT TAXES CUT TAXES. Because people are goddamn dumb. I mean, look at how much people will pay for shitty coffee at Starbucks. Come on. Got any brain cells up there?

Liberals
Dion's a nice enough guy, but this guy isn't going to inspire anyone to do anything but stay the fuck home, which a record number of people did for this election. It pains me to ask this, but... where's your pizzazz? Where's your catchy catch-phrases? You need witty comebacks and a certain amount of media-savviness these days, even if you have the greatest policy document in the world. How long until Justin Trudeau can take this thing over, anyway?

Bloc Qu├ębecois
The nicest thing I can say about a party whose sole intention is to break up my homeland, I guess, is to thank them for taking enough seats in Quebec so that the Conservatives didn't get a majority. Also, I think I have a bit of a man-crush on Gilles Duceppe. But that don't make me a queer or nothin'. I'll prove I ain't — hell, let's go shoot some wolves from a helicopter.

NDP
Modest gains from the last election, but Peggy Nash lost to Gerard Kennedy in Parkdale—High Park, which was probably the best thing to happen all night for the Liberals. No gigantic surprises, although they did manage to pick up a couple of seats in the north. Wish they'd have taken a few more in BC, though.

Greens
I really wanted to see them pick up a seat. And I kind of admire Elizabeth May for wanting to run in Central Nova, where she lives... but, at this point in the game for the Greens, you gotta pick a riding that isn't a Conservative lock. Granted, she did (32.2%) give Peter MacKay (46.6%) a run for his money in a riding that his dad once handily owned. But if you put May in Bruce—Grey—Owen Sound, where a no-name Green (Dick Hibma) came in an extremely healthy second (47.6%—27.2%) against a former mayor in the riding (Larry Miller, a Conservative), you'd sew it up like a tailor. Maybe next time.

In conclusion, this election was a giant waste of money. I just hope the Libs don't completely abdicate their responsibility as Opposition like they've done for the past two years, sitting there like a silent bunch of dopes, too nervous to call out the Cons lest they be forced into another costly election.

It don't look good, folks.

2 comments:

Eve said...

Seriously, Duceppe has the most crystal-blue eyes I have ever seen. They are like vagina magnets.

I swear, I am only foul-mouthed when I comment on your blog.

Duder said...

I'm still reeling. :(