Tuesday, June 17, 2008

You should just shoot me with a fucking gun, over and over again, between the hours of 7 and 8 pm.

Tim Russert died on Friday. Good guy, good reporter. Beloved by all (but nobody had him in our Celebrity Death Pool '08).

Over the weekend, there were tributes aplenty, and Brokaw headed up a round-table on Meet The Press with the chair at the desk empty behind him on Sunday. Class.

Monday was the first "real" day after Russert bit it, so then, ostensibly, the "real" tributes to Little Russ (son of Big Russ, natch) were a-flowin'.

Today is Tuesday. It has now been four days since Russert's death. Note this for later.

* * * * * * * * *

Many years ago, before I started really paying attention to stuff, my buddy Dave expressed extreme hatred for People magazine and shows like Entertainment Tonight. I hadn't really thought too much about media like that, because (a.) I was a dumb, naive little shit, and (b.) well, there was really only one show like ET around; sure, there was Inside Edition and A Current Affair, but back in the early '90s they really just aspired to be knockoffs of things like 20/20 (which is itself a knockoff of 60 Minutes, right down to the numbers in the title).

(Incidentally, I consider 60 Minutes a very high-quality news program, perhaps the best put out by any mainstream media outlet. The stories are frank and honest, and there's some really gutsy reporting going on.)

(Plus, my goal in life is to be as curmudgeonly as Andy Rooney, minus of course most of the eyebrow-bushiness.)

Nowadays, though, every goddamn channel (save for Newsworld and maybe that freaky Italian channel) shows a program like Entertainment Tonight for a solid hour between 7 and 8 on weeknights. Shit, Global even puts on this thing called ET Canada for the second half-hour which, according to my sources, shows the shitty stuff that regular ET cuts, and not even particularly Canadian stuff. Also, did you know Rick the Temp hosts it? And, that his real name isn't Rick the Temp, but something much more Italian?

Anyway. I'm eventually getting to a point.

* * * * * * * * *

Tonight on one of the "entertainment news" shows (a oxymoron if I ever heard one), one of the big stories was the following. Now, you're gonna want to hold on to something and/or grab a vomit bag, because this one's a doozy. Also, like watching someone play notes from the boîte diabolique, I saw this on mute because my brain couldn't quite deal with both sound and video at the same time.

The "scoop":

The show had a story showing
how other shows had tribute pieces
to Tim Russert.

Clips from the NBC Nightly News and other places were gleefully played, no doubt with sombre piano music in the background, showing correspondents in various locales and the graphic "Remembering Russert" at the bottom of the screen, likely with some sort of inane narration overtop by the likes of Deborah Norville.

Please, for the love of Chuck Norris, someone just shoot me in the eyeballs and eardrums.

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