Thursday, May 08, 2008

Conservative/Republican Sex Scandal #383.

For the past few years, you really haven't been able to swing a sack of doorknobs without hitting a sex scandal involving some sort of Republican, especially of the Hilariously Wacko Christian Conservative Bible-Thumpin' Evangelical variety.

Today's scandal: Vito Fossella, a Republican member of the House of Representatives from New York. (Aside: New York elects Republicans? Who knew?) He's just straight-up conservative, which still makes this sort of thing "reasonably amusing."

Long story short... Fossella gets pulled over by the cops a week ago and gets nailed for drunk-driving. The cop asks him, "So, what are you doing around here, anyway?"

Fossella responded, "I'm visiting my daughter."

Cop: "Oh? You have a daughter in the area?"

Fossella (later, in his official police statement): "I have a daughter by this chick over here in the greater DC area. 'One in every port,' or something like that. Good thing my wife in Staten Island doesn't know!"*

Anyway, the moral of this story is, you'd think that if the Democrats were the godless sodomites the Republicans make them out to be... wouldn't it be them getting into all sorts of questionable hanky-panky? I mean, sure, there was Bill Clinton, getting some intern-lovin' in the White House, but at least she wasn't some 15-year-old boy/male prostitute-slash-meth-dealer/woman who bore your bastard-child behind your wife's back.

Hypocrisy? You bet. "Do as I say, not as I screw."**

* I think she knows now, though.
** I just made this up, just now. Patent Pending, motherfuckers!


ecb said...

Nice Oscar Wilde quote ;) Quite the scandal maker himself.

JTL said...

I quoted Oscar Wilde? Huh?

ecb said...

"love which dare not speak its name"

I made a mistake, it was coined by Oscar Wilde's lover in a poem. Whatever, close enough.