Saturday, December 22, 2007

A spot of advice.

If you know me — not necessarily in the "biblical sense," but that could work too — you know that I hate malls. I try to stay away from them as much as possible. So, imagine my dismay when, yesterday, I realized I forgot my credit card at a store in a mall the day before, which meant I had to battle the crowds in order to go back and retrieve it.

The mall itself wasn't that crowded. But, it's in an upscale part of town, so I guess everyone who goes there somehow drives all 3 of their SUVs there, at the same time; that's the only explanation I can concoct for how a half-full mall makes for an impossibly-full parking lot.

And you know the type of people who are poking around here: SUVs, clueless yuppie assholes, probably with Fufu the Schnauser yipping his cuuuuuute wittle head off in the back seat. Something else they all had in common was one particular accessory — seriously, a third of them had one while driving — and so, to you, my quasineighbours, I will offer you this piece of advice (suitably-coloured for the season):

GET
OFF
THE
GOD
DAMN
PHONE
WHEN
YOU
DRIVE

YOU
DRIVE
LIKE
SHIT
WHEN
YOU
TALK

AGAIN,
GET
OFF
THE
FUCKING
PHONE,
ASSHOLE


That is all. Have a merry Christmas.

2 comments:

Richard said...

Is it okay to talk and drive if you're really good at it? You know, for people who have got skills.

JTL said...

No.