Thursday, October 18, 2007

Fighting the post-Thanksgiving, pre-Rememberance Day blahs.

There's a very fine line separating "healthy self-awareness" and "problematic self-obsession," and I honestly don't know on which side I am these days.

Things are going kinda "meh" these days: work is rolling along alright, there's nothing new on the romance side of things, and I think my 6-year-old houseplant is dying a slow death. Other that that, not a whole lot else is going on in the Life of J.

In times like these, my mind starts to wander; if idle hands do the Devil's handiwork, then what do idle brains do? The Devil's tax return? (Aside: I wonder if he donates to the Church of Satan, and if he does, does he deduct that from his taxes?)

(Now do you see the degree of idle-ness my brain is running on these days?)

Anyway, when I'm not contemplating the financial wheelings-and-dealings of certain disgraced angels, all I can think about these days is about how I'm in something of a "holding pattern" for a lot of things in my life. Holding for what? I'm not exactly sure.

It was easy a few years ago. I knew exactly for what I was holding; namely, going back to school. Last year, I spent quite a few months getting back into teaching, re-immersing myself in the Daily Grind. But, now what? What's coming down the pipe next?

(Meanwhile, by thinking/typing that, I've probably just doomed myself in some way. I have visions of an asteroid crashing through my roof, or my car getting stolen, or martial law suddenly being declared in Ontario.)

(At least that would liven things up a bit around here.)


Renee said...

Yeah, I too have problems with this "life" thing. Particularly the part about growing up. I'm just not ready to do that yet. Nobody's given me a good enough reason why. But what's next? Working for a living is, frankly, kind of boring. Sometimes it's great, but I can't help feeling like it's a drop of water into a lake in terms of its importance to the world. At least you're moulding young minds, programming them and sending them out into the world, like some sort of robot army. That's cool.

JTL said...

I'm not gonna lie: having minions is pretty damn cool.

I don't fear "growing up," to be honest. Aside from some vestigal habits I have kicking around, I sorta feel like I've been a grown-up for quite a few years now (with a brief escape in grad school). Also, I don't think I ever had this momentous occasion where I thought to myself, "Alright, now I'm an adult" -- I think it just sorta gradually happened.

...and I'm alright with that.