Sunday, September 23, 2007

Romance is hard.

Five observations:

1. A lot of the good ones are taken.
You know that really cool girl, the one you've had your eye on for some time? Sorry, pal, other guys see her, too. And one of them got to her before you did. It's shitty, but it happens. Often.

2. Meeting women can be difficult.
Big cities are cold and impersonal. I live in Canada's largest. I also happen to live in a part of it where the median age is likely in triple-digits. It actually surprises me when I pass an attractive woman within ten years of my age walking down my street.

3. People are their own worst critics.
You spend all your waking hours obsessing about this, that or the other little thing that's wrong with you. But, we all have our flaws. Nobody's perfect; hell, Tiger Woods may be the best golfer that's ever lived, but the guy's basically got OCD. So, relax.

4. Guys make the first move.
Women have periods and babies, and neither of those are fun. It's typically the guy's responsibility to initially break the ice. I'm honestly not sure who has the easier job here.

5. It feels awesome to have your ego stroked.
Even if it doesn't lead anywhere, it can make a guy feel like he's king of the world if he has an extended conversation with a woman he finds attractive.

That's all for now. I'm sure I'll come up with more, eventually.

* * * * * * *

Upon further reflection, I think #1 is probably the most significant, at least in my recent experience. Jesus, if I had a nickel for every time I talked to a really great girl and she slipped a "myboyfriend" reference in there, I could quit my job and buy a solid gold house. Why is that? Are attached women natually more open to conversation (especially with me)? Are they more at-ease, knowing they can whip out that ace-in-the-hole anytime they feel uncomfortable? I don't believe in things like curses and karma and such, but I swear this has happened to me much more than my fair share of times.


Renee said...

You know what happens? Girl is having a really interesting conversation with a guy, and then starts to feel guilty 'cause she's pretty sure that he's enjoying it too, which can only mean that he is interested in her, because guys don't have interesting conversations with girls they're not interested in, as a rule. At which point they drop the myboyfriend because they don't want to continue enjoying such a great conversation with a guy who doesn't know that it's just, you know, conversation. But it's a tough call when to drop it in ther, because they always lose interest after that, but goddamnit, you were having a good conversation.

Renee said...

... if that makes any sense.

JTL said...

guys don't have interesting conversations with girls they're not interested in, as a rule

I would say this is a bit of an unfair stereotype... but I can see how one might come to that conclusion.

Consider a pair of axes -- your standard x vs. y cartesian grid. On the horizontal axis, the left side is "dull" and the right is "engrossing;" on the vertical axis, the top is "hot" and the bottom is "not hot."

Ideally, I'm going to run across a girl who's as far to the top and right as possible. But, whenever I find someone in that upper-right quadrant, I'm going to wonder if, hey, maybe this a person I'm interested in, and I'd want to get to know a little better... perhaps in a "biblical" way, eventually.

But, anytime I run into someone who's on the right side of the vertical axis -- that is, someone with whom I can have a good conversation -- I'm going to stick around and talk to them. To quote Nick Drake, they're a "rare, rare find."

Eve said...

I think talking to a girl and saying you like her is easier than pushing a giant wriggling human out of your vagina. Just my two cents :)