Tuesday, January 30, 2007

They shouldn't even bother.

From time to time, I come home from work and check my mailbox to find a piece of paper from Canada Post saying that, when they tried to deliver a package to me sometime during the middle of the day, nobody was home. Therefore, I should haul my ass to the local Shoppers Drug Mart sometime "after 1300 tomorrow" to pick up what I paid someone else to send to my place of habitation, so I wouldn't have to leave said place in order to actually acquire the item in question, which I could have easily accomplished given that (a.) I own a car, and in case said car ceases to function, (b.) public transportation passes right by my place of habitation, as I just heard while typing the word "public," I shit you not.

(Oh, #88 South Leaside bus... right on time.)

The problem, of course, is that most people — including myself — WORK DURING THE GODDAMN DAY. That means that, surprise surprise, I ain't gonna be there to pick up whatever crap I ordered off www.penis-embiggener.com when Please Mister Postman comes to my door.

Seriously, I wonder what percentage of people are actually at home at 1:25 on a Tuesday afternoon in late January. It's gotta be in the teens somewhere, if that.

As such, I propose that a significant percentage of service industries — barbershops, Canada Post parcel delivery, clothing stores, the telephone service hotline at www.penis-embiggener.com — open for business at 4:00 pm instead of this 9:00 am horseshit. Open at 4, close around 11 at night; that way, I can actually get to shit before it closes. TD Canada Trust boasts that they're open late now and again... open it up late every night, you overstuffed cash-jockeys! Some of us have shit to do during the daylight hours!

In conclusion, I demand to have my item delivered to me when I am at home. And I demand that my barber be open evenings. (Sorry, Rocco.)


'nee said...

"you overstuffed cash-jockeys!"


I agree. I think that the entire world should operate on three shifts of 8 hours each, just like the hotel industry.

Dan said...

Wow, you're really pissed that you missed that Penis-embiggener delivery.

And you'd better believe that when you go to the post office, they'll tell you something like, the truck that has your package is still out doing rounds so you'll have to wait 'til tomorrow.

Getting packages through the mail sucks all around.

Hubert said...

Your barber's name is Rocco?