As someone from Montreal mentioned on the CBC today, "I got up this morning, went out onto my porch, and looked up. I noticed the sky didn't fall, the power was still on, and the buses were still running." I think people are starting to chill out about a Tory minority, as I mentioned on ElectionNite™. It was a way of saying, "Alright, Liberals, you've been in there long enough. Give the boy with the vacant blue eyes and the crisp blue shirt a chance."
...which is a very Canadian thing to do. (We're a friendly lot.)
Three things should brighten your day. And if they don't, you're
fucked.
First: a whole lot of vitriol is afoot at
The 50 Most Loathsome People In America, 2005. It'll make you laugh, then cry, then laugh a bit more. A sample:
20. Oprah Winfrey
Charges: Winfrey's entire life is an exercise in self-aggrandizement, from the TV show which tells us what to read and how to live to her eponymous magazine, every issue of which features her smug countenance on its cover. More than just another insufferable Hollywood egotist, Oprah is something more akin to a housewife messiah, providing false hope and faux spirituality for experience-deprived worshippers. Everything she does is strategically designed to draw more praise, more devotees, and of course more money. Recently had celebrated poet Maya Angelou on her program to promote her new poem, which Oprah read for the audience as if she wrote it herself, as she seems to actually believe.
Exhibit A: Dr. Phil.
Sentence: Crushed by self-commissioned 40-story platinum Oprah statue.
That, my friends, is some acidic-ass writin'. Thank you,
Miss Lang, for bringing it to my attention.
Second: I've become a big fan of Random Chuck Norris Facts lately. They're absurd, and you know how I loves me the absurd comedy (see Stella, Kids in the Hall, Mitch Hedberg). If you ever wanted to know what sorts of experiences that the star of
Walker, Texas Ranger has had in his life, Google yourself up some RCNFs. Thirty such ones are
here. You're welcome.
Third: Watching Stephen Colbert tonight (I do believe the
Report is getting better and better), he mentioned that some British study suggested that today (yes, technically "yesterday," but, meh), January 24, is the most depressing day of the year. He brought out a sun-simulating desk lamp to help brighten his spirits, which wasn't plugged in, and this angered him even more. Then, out of nowhere, he blurts (with beeps inserted), "Aw, f--- me in the a-- with a lit cigar. ... This lamp is horses--- anyway. Doesn't work." It was pretty damn random, and you know how I loves me the absurd comedy (see Stella, Kids in the Hall, Mitch Hedberg).
Did I mention my memory was lousy, too?