Friday, October 27, 2006

Parking ticket addendum.

I figured the best way to help me forget the agony of watching the Tigers throw Game 4 of the World Series earlier this evening would be for me to pay my latest parking ticket on the Internet.

You see, the City of Toronto has a newfangled type of parking ticket — the old ones were mostly illegible scribblings that would become largely unreadable if there was a hint of moisture in the air — and they have a nice little note on the back that says I can pay the thing at the City of Toronto website.

"Hooray," I thought. "Finally, Canada's largest and most important city can boast a system similar to that of a brackish, booze-filled burgh filled with ex-cons, loose, drunk university students and crazy-people."

And then, the fine print.

Please be advised an administrative fee of $1.50 will be applied for each infraction paid through the internet and will be added to the amount charged to your credit card.

. . .

WHERE IS MY MOTHERFUCKING CHEQUEBOOK AND THE GODDAMN STAMPS? GET ME AN ENVELOPE AND MY FOUNTAIN-PEN, BECAUSE I'M NOT LETTING THESE ASSCLOWNS GET AN EXTRA DIME OUT OF ME.

This is progress?!?!??!?!

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