Saturday, October 28, 2006

Flakiness.

There are a lot of things I don't stand for in this world:
One thing you can definitely add to my list is flakiness. Allow me to explain.

It's currently about 9:20 in the evening on a Saturday. A friend of mine said a few days ago, "Hey, there's going to be a house party this Saturday night at a buddy's place, and there might be a keg; you should come out." There are two things that are music to my ears in this statement:

1. House Party
I generally dislike going out to non-pub-like bars and clubs. If I'm going to get blasted, give me a seat at a booth, three other pals, pitchers and pint-glasses. I hate bars and clubs that are dance-y, because (a.) I don't dance* and (b.) the music they play to get people to dance makes me want to not-so-surgically remove my eardrums. House parties are great, because the person in charge of the music doesn't have "get people on the dancefloor" foremost in their mind; maybe they just want to provide people with a nice background vibe to which to chill. Also, I tend to "work my magic"** much more successfully in a house-party setting, where my subtle wit and natural charm don't have to be screamed directly into the ear of the other participant in the conversation, as is the case in a loud-ass club:

Me: "SO, DID YOU AND MY FRIEND STEVE MEET IN THAT TURKISH PRISON?"
Her: "YES, I USED TO TIE MY SHOES IN DOUBLE-KNOTS!"

You can see how my attempt at icebreaking humour might fall on (nearly) deaf ears.

2. Keg
This one explains itself.

I called up my friend today and asked what the deal was with the plans. Apparently "house party with a keg" turned into "we're meeting at a bar near Richmond and John," which is the CLUB DISTRICT, and I do NOT ENJOY GOING TO PLACES OF THIS NATURE. She said she'd call me back when plans firmed-up a little more about an hour later. (Weren't plans already firm, with the house and the keg?)

An hour and a half later, I called up my friend; someone else answered and said, "Oh, um, she's busy at the moment, I'll have her call you back." A good 40 minutes after that, I got a call back — this was getting close to 9:00 — "Yeah, I just got to my friend's place, we're going to eat dinner and get our costumes put together, so I'll call you back in an hour and a half."

Um.

What?

I'm certainly not the type of person who wants to go to an empty bar at 8:00 and stand around forever, waiting for a crowd to show up. (Who is?) But Hallowe'en is always a busy-ass bar night, and showing up someplace at 11:30, do you think we'd actually be able to get in? Not without having to wait in a stupid lineup in the stupid rain, and I hate having to wait in a lineup to get in a bar where I pay them for booze. Shit, if they were handing out free booze, I could see why I'd want to stand in a line. But this club will probably have a hefty cover, and will probably have expensive-ass drinks and will probably provide shitty bar service, and will probably be playing music to which I probably don't want to listen.

Ergo, I'm seriously considering staying in tonight and not bothering. It's a pain in the ass to get to that part of downtown when you can't just drive-and-park, and I can't stand the types of people who normally go to that part of town (I walked through there a couple of months ago on a Friday night and, as I politely pushed through the throngs of to-the-nines-dressed clubgoers, thought to myself, "Goddamn, I hate these fucks").

Hmm.

Hmmmm.

The problem is, everybody else I know is probably already out at wherever it is they were going to go. Even if I wanted to hit a pub and have a few beers, well, everybody's already gone someplace, and while I detest cell phones they're occasionally handy when you want to get in contact with someone at a strange time, not everyone I know has one, and I don't have one, because when you make plans you fucking stick to them. I can't stand it when people are flaky and change their minds at the drop of a hat.

So, in conclusion, it will either be a late, soggy, cold-ass night in a part of town I hate, or a quiet night in while the rest of the city drinks and gropes with reckless abandon.

* This is not to say I can't dance. I just don't.
** I obviously do not have any "magic" or "skills" or "sex appeal."

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