Monday, August 14, 2006

I bet you thought I was dead.

...or, at the very least, trapped under something heavy. But, fear not, JTLketeers — all five of you — 'twas just a little excursion to the great rural southwest of Ontario which lasted longer than I'd originally planned. And hey, I got to see my niece take three consecutive, unassisted steps! Twice! That's pretty exciting. What a kid.

I'm starting to wonder if every single (i.e., unmarried) male 28 or older gets bombarded with the "well, don't worry, you'll find a nice girl" shtick. For fuck's sakes, even my sweet, small-town grandma's in on the chorus.

Then again, I guess she's just looking out for me.

...her only unmarried grandson (and also grandchild; there were no granddaughters) out of us four.

Ouch.

Well, in my defence, I'm the youngest, and went away, and spent a lot of years in school, the whole bit. "People in cities have their lives on different schedules," blah blah blah. You know the drill (well, I do, anyway). I can't seem to shake this malaise brought-upon by my singledom, and I know that, as long as it's hanging ominously over my head, I'm never going to get anywhere.

But, minds have a way of playing tricks on you: if someone says, "Don't think about peanut butter," your mind can't help but think about peanut butter. So, when you're walking around, minding your own business, and all you see are beautiful women — there were even some at a baseball tournament I briefly visited in Inwood this weekend, for chrissakes... when the hell did this happen? Inwood has ladies?! They must be imports from places like Aberfeldy, Sutorville and Camlachie — you can't help but re-realize your own status.

Normally, this doesn't bother me too much... but lately it's really been getting under my skin, and I don't know why. Maybe because I'm back in Toronto but haven't had the time (or money, or runnin'-crew) to do much socializing, or maybe because another friend of mine just got married (with another one newly-engaged), or maybe I'm just anxious about my thesis non-defence this week (being pushed back to September), or maybe I'm really advanced for my age and am having my mid-life crisis at 28.

Or maybe I just think too much.

Shit, this sucks.



PS: See the movie Waiting.... It's good. Very good.

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