Tuesday, August 29, 2006

The calm before the storm.

There are only a few days before the beginning of the school year and I, for one, am looking forward to it.

Perhaps the best thing about this upcoming year is that I'm back in my old desk in the Science office. It's in the perfect place where I can hide from students at the office's door, where I can lean back a bit and put my feet up on my desk after a long, stupid day. I'm also right next to the video collection, so if you want a boring, dated film talking about symbiotic nitrogen fixation in legume roots, I'm your man.

(The first six minutes of that are bearable. After that, I sorta want to jab my eyes out with a set of crucible tongs.)

(Remember crucible tongs? Of course you do.)

The floors are buffed and shiny, the desks have been ridded of graffiti, the blackboards are black (we're not fancy enough to have whiteboards), and people are still generally in relaxed summer mode. That disappears around mid-September, of course, as the kids realize just how far they have to push before they break you like a metre stick.

(I don't know if I even have a breaking-point; I'm more a "roll with the punches" kind of guy. For example, when I was supplying back in June, I caught some kid copying an assignment pretty blatantly, and she called me an asshole for taking it away from her. I had to laugh: how often do we get called that to our faces? Not often. Besides, I wasn't the one performing outright plagiarism at the time.)

So, in conclusion, bring on the new school year. My Kevlar vest* came in on Monday, so I'm ready.

* I do teach in Scarborough, but hey, c'mon. We don't wear these.**
** Unless it's Tater Tot Tuesday. Then things can get a little out-of-hand.

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