Monday, July 31, 2006


It's a military term, apparently, to describe a situation in which every imaginable thing which can go wrong has gone wrong. My thesis is turning into just such a situation.

I am currently sitting at a computer lab at the Faculty of Education at Queen's. Yes, I'm in Kingston, not in Toronto, after having blasted down the 401 pretty much faster than I've ever gone before (I'm not one to be a speed-demon on our four-laners), in order to make it to the Grad Studies office before it closed at 4:30 (which I did, by 15 minutes; I made Scarborough to Kingston in two hours flat).

But J, you ask, why didn't you just mail the thing in?

Because I needed "four" copies of the thing here by Monday afternoon, and because I was at a wedding from Thursday onward, I didn't get a chance to print them out or colour-copy the pages that needed colour, which was six per copy.

Why are you wasting time in a computer lab, then?

Because as I handed in my four copies, the grad studies secretary said I needed five, because the one I'd already mailed in a week before, for the grad studies coordinator, needed to have tiny little changes, and also that person will not be at my defence because she'll be... oh, I dunno, probably on a sandy beach somewhere. Also, for some bizarre reason, when I went to print off the PDF containing my thesis, it completely messed up, so now I've had to print the thing off in 50-page chunks, which come out of the printer one. at. a. time. with. a. rest. in. the. middle.

But, at least it's a good thing that you know what you're doing, and that your supervisor helped you along the way, preparing you well.

Yeah, you'd think that, wouldn't you? Only, the thing is, when I have asked my advisor for feedback on what I've done so far he brushed me off and gave me none, and when I pointed this out he snapped at me and, in so many words, threatened to delay the process even more than it already has. (Did I mention I handed in my first draft on March 22nd? And my second on June 6th? And that today is July 31st? And I haven't really received much substantive feedback on anything from my supervisor other than, in essence, "Make sure your 12-point i's are dotted and indented 1.25" on the left side"?

So, in conclusion, clusterfuck.

Now, for some inexplicable reason, this keyboard has flipped into French-Canadian, which means my apostrophes are coming out as èèèèè (and quotation marks as ÈÈÈÈÈ). To quote Dante from Clerks, "What do you do for an encore, pour sugar in my gas tank while anally raping my grandmother?"

(I had to do trial-and-error to find the question mark and quotation marks on this fucked-up keyboard. Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.)

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