From time to time, I like to geek it up and boot my computer into Linux instead of Windows. (Today, though, I met my wits' end with Windows, actually said out loud, "Fuck you, Microsoft," and vowed to only delve into the world of Windows when absolutely, positively necessary.)
(You know, to do things like play goat-porn video clips that won't run in any other place.)
Today I wanted to do one simple thing: view a video from The Bees on my system. I have a program called Helix which plays RealVideo clips (without the nasty spyware). When I clicked on the link to the video, Firefox dutifully asked me what program I'd like to use to play the clip. I thought, "Aha! I'll use Helix. That'll work but-good."
Except I can't find the fucking program on my entire system.
Oh, sure, I can type hxplay at a command prompt, and bingo, up pops the program. But do you think I could find the damn executable anywhere? If you guessed "no," you're sadly correct. I even su'd, dropped down into /, typed find -name hxplay... and all it got me was that there was a directory named /usr/lib/helix/share/hxplay which contained some PNGs that the executable (which is still, sadly, nowhere to be found) uses.
Add to this the mysterious placement of OpenOffice 2 — no other program puts itself into /opt, and I haven't the foggiest idea what that even stands for — and Linux has me scratching my head. There is no standard place where executables go... sometimes it's /usr/bin, but sometimes it's /usr/local/bin. I've found them in /lib, /lib/src, /usr/src, /usr/local/src, and now /opt. Holy damn! I can't find a shitting thing!
And this, dear friends, is the geek I keep hidden deep inside most of the time.