Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Barry Bonds, Apartments, and Oga Nwobosi.

Yeah, it's been a little baseball-heavy here at the Brain-spillings lately, but it's Spring Training, so fuck you. I'll write about baseball every god damn day if I want to. It's my blog, so shut the hell up.

Barry Bonds has been in the news lately, as an excerpt from a damning new book appeared in this past week's Sports Illustrated. I read it, and... well, if there was any doubt in your mind before, prepare to have it sandblasted out of your head.

But, here's an interesting little morsel on which to chew:

Mr. Bonds was "injured" for a good deal of last year, with assorted "knee ailments." But, instead of hanging out with the Giants here and there during his convalescence, which players are known to do often, he was completely out of the picture until his brief 14-game stint last year when he was "healthy" enough to play. Didn't talk to anyone, didn't see anyone, kept his "fans" "informed" through his "website" — which, sadly enough, is sometimes how the San Francisco Giants Baseball Club, his employer, even knew how he was doing.


My theory is that Bonds was staying out of the limelight so he could avoid being tested for steroids. Some of those drugs take months to get out of your system, and I think his "injury" was just a ruse to buy him time as they gradually worked their way out. Nowadays, his urine is probably so clean that... um... well, it's free from steroids.

In other news, I'm very likely going to sign a lease for an apartment in Toronto, starting May 1. I'll be living in the ol' Bayview-Davisville neighbourhood again, which is great, as I'll again be within walking-distance from the best damn bagels mankind has ever tasted. Of course, with all those carbs from all those bagels, I'll quickly gain weight and be housebound like that 1100-pound guy was once, you know, the guy where they had to take the wall out, take it out so he could get out of his house and get more bagels.

Yet another person has found this here website by doing a web search for Oga Nwobosi, the Vancouver reporter for The Weather Network. In fact, if you put her name into Google, guess what page comes up eighth? This one, motherfuckers. So, Oga, if you're reading this — and I know that you are — remember that with your Nigerian (via Guyana) chocolate goodness and my Irish-Scottish-English (via rural southwestern Ontario) transluscent-vanilla paleness, you and I can make some gorgeous, caramel-coloured, Weather Network-watching babies.

Well, either caramel, or a crazy chocolate-vanilla swirl like you can get in ice cream cones. Either way, our babies will be delicious!

The Fetching Ms. Nwobosi


sparks said...

heyy we're going to be neighbors, or well you will be with my parents. Thats a nice area though, but what bagel place? I'm sorry but I dont believe Griefs and I know bagel world isnt near there, so clearly you are mistaken. :p
Oh man, you're just down the street from hollywood gellato, ooooo i can get soooo fat off of that stuff.

JTL said...

The name of the place is Bagels 'N' Things, 1548 Bayview Avenue. They're Montreal-style, which I think are awesome... but I'm always up for new experiences in bagelry. You'll have to show me around town!